Dreams of suffocation or being crushed often relate to your feelings concerning separation and attachment in waking life, and as such, point to experiences of childhood and family. Such dreams often occur at times of change, such as leaving home for the first time, getting married or at times of illness and death. Dreams of suffocation can also tell of fears of being overwhelmed, dominated or drowned by a powerful figure, who is likely to be a family figure. Two influential psychoanalysts—John Bowlby and Donald Winnicott—have written extensively about the concept of separation and attachment. They suggested that a large proportion of anxieties and mental health problems are associated with separation between infant and mother in childhood. Their suggestion is that separation is not only distressing for a baby but can also cause anxieties in later life. They proposed that premature separation can lead to insecurity, which can lead to hostility, and that this hostility can interfere with the processes determining subsequent growth and development. All of this is said to trigger mourning at an age when a child is too young to manage such feelings, meaning that a child may be stuck in a state of despair or depression. Dreams of suffocation, separation, loss and abandonment may therefore be informative as they can tell the dreamer of an unresolved separation in their family. This is when feelings of mourning or hostility towards the parent or other family figure have not yet been explored or dealt with.Separation anxiety occurs when we have to confront the prospect of being separated from someone who is considered essential to our physical or emotional survival. Typically, separation anxiety occurs in relation to family members or partners, as these are the people with whom we normally have the closest relationships; the anxiety may often be reflected in nightmares and disturbing dreams. Although normal in childhood—when a child is absolutely dependent upon the parent to provide for its needs—separation anxiety in adulthood, when the presence of another person is used in defense against some other form of anxiety, is considered detrimental to a person’s emotional development. Dreams of suffocation or nightmare scenarios involving the separation, death or loss of a family member or spouse are often triggered by separation anxiety and in many instances they can offer clues to help manage and resolve these feelings in waking life.
See also: NIGHTMARES.
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